I think when I last posted, my grandmother was sick, but we were hoping she would make a recovery. She suffered from COPD, and was on oxygen at home. She came down with pneumonia, and ended up in the hospital. At first it looked really bad, but then she started doing better, and then things changed again and she went down hill. She asked not to be intubated, and signed a DNR as well. A few days later, the hospital said they had done all they could, and transferred her to a hospice facility.
My brother, his wife, and I drove down after work on Monday. We got there about 4:30 the next morning and Maw was still with us. She wasn’t very responsive… couldn’t open her eyes or talk. She was sleeping when we came in, but later did react a little when we spoke to her a little later. The day was uneventful, and that night we stayed with her overnight (Matt, Lauren, Sonya and myself). The rule was that two people had to be with her at all times. She was on oxygen and morphine only… no monitors, no IV fluids, etc.
By the time Wednesday came around, I was exhausted, having had a total of about 2 or 3 hours of sleep over the three days. We picked up breakfast at Bojangles, and headed back home around lunch. That was a tough decision to make. On one hand, we could have left and gotten the call a few minutes later that she had passed. On the other hand, we could stay, and she could have hung in there for a few more days. I think all of us were at peace with her passing and didn’t feel the need to be there at the exact moment that it happened. She lived a long life and a happy life, and I think she was ready to go when the Lord called her home.
She did indeed make it through that night, but at about 9:30 CST on Thurday I got a call from mom letting me know she had passed.
It was received with mixed feelings. On one hand, I lost my grandmother, a woman I respected and loved dearly. A woman who I have so many memories of growing up, whether it’s fishing, or trips to the beach, or trips to Gatlingburg. It might have been just visiting her at hour house ever other weekend it seemed when we lived in Charlotte. The time I had an abcess tooth over Easter when we were in Hickory and I had to have a tooth pulled. Or visiting her working at Wallace Abrasives. Or the grab bags she used to buy me from the dollar store.
On the other hand, I imagine the celebration they must be having in heaven welcoming her home, and I’m sure my grandfather is in the front of the crowd waiting for her. It souns cliche, but she is indeed in a better place, a place we all should long to be. My mourning is not for her, but only for my own temporary loss, and is balanced with equal, if not greater joy that she is healthy again, happy, and home.
We drove down tonight to be here for the funeral. Matt and Lauren rode with Angie, Mallory, Calen and I, and Kylie drove down from Chattanooga a little later. The receiving was from 6 – 8 at Bass Smith Funeral home. Maw was beautiful, the flowers were beautiful, and the people who’s live she had impacted were many. We stood with the family and spoke to people as they visited. We spent some time laughing and some time remembering.
Afterwards, we went to my Uncle Mikes house to eat. Food and funerals seem to go hand in hand. We joked and enjoyed the time together. I think the laughs were good. Calen blew out a diaper, and Kylie arrived around 9:45PM. Now we are back in the hotel… the funeral starts tomorrow at 1PM, and Maw will be laid to rest next to Paw shortly after.
I’ll post some more later, and I’m sure over the next few weeks as I have time to reflect, more thoughts will come to mind. . . more memories about times I spent with Maw growing up. I’m grateful that we had a trip back in December when she was healthy, and she was able to see and hold her great grandchildren. That is the Maw that I will carry forward with me. I will certainly miss my grandmother, and I look forward to seeing her again when the time comes for my Father to call me home.