Okay, so I had a really bad day yesterday.  My nausea started again on Wednesday, and yesterday it was awful.  Plus, I have been battling some sort of sinus thing.  It’s been great.  Well, we were supposed to go hear the heartbeat yesterday.  (did you notice the “supposed to”?)  Johnathan had the bright idea of calling first because of the first time my appointment was canceled.  It was actually a great idea because Dr. Perales had just been called away and wouldn’t be back.  I almost cried right there.  My heart was broken.  All the build up and no punch line.  It really stunk.  With extra time on my hands, I wandered around a few stores before meeting Johnathan for dinner.  My first words were, “I’m having a moment, and you are just going to have to let me have it.”  While I was reading the menu, everything sounding mucho gross, I just started crying (stupid hormones).  My precious husband wanted to hold my hand, but I couldn’t (I would have totally lost it).  I choked down some mushroom soup and called my mom to cry all the way home.  See, right now, aside from feeling sick and tired, I don’t really feel pregnant.  I wanted, needed, something tangible.  A heartbeat.  A picture.  Something.  Something to tell me that everything’s going well.  But I guess I’ll have to wait until Monday (rescheduled the appointment).  Maybe this is a blessing.  Sometimes, you can’t hear the heartbeat at 10 weeks because it’s not strong enough or the baby’s not close enough to the instrument.  Maybe the 4 days will make a difference.  In any event, God knows better than I do so I will just have to trust.